too funny

each time you happen to me all over again

once in awhile, you read something so close to home it's devastating, find yourself relating, and reliving, tearing at points to the parts which resonate and transport you to the moments like it were yesterday. this is what the novel did to me in the best way i can describe it.
except it gave me a fresh perspective from the other party, as if she were telling me her side of that three and a half year relationship, what it felt like to be in love for the first time at her age with someone decades apart. i could finally empathise with the fears, the longing, the impossibility mixed with such naive hope and optimism.
i took a lot of that for granted in those years we were together. hardly paying attention to her real anxieties and challenges, always dismissing it as her youth, patronizing her for it. i think i had to learn the hard way, make me see how much i didn't know the more i thought i knew and i must've hurt her so often with my darkness and scepticism of her loyalty.
it's interesting so have such introspection from the other side. i know now her struggles, her confusion yet her pure clarity. i just hope she's doing well now. for all the possible internal damage, she should from that strength of adversity alone, be thriving as an individual, finding and discovering so much about others and herself.
wherever you are, krystle, i wish you well.