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a love of bread

i've read somewhere, or it could be in chinese, that bread is made from love. and flour and yeast haha
but when i chew into this awesome loaf after a too early morning class, i feel the tenderness of her fingers (!) and then some. it's that domesticity of being taken cared of. that same feeling of being held in the middle of the night.
all that from bread. homemade with love.

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and a weekend of guiness-valrhona baked indulgence.at this rate i will be a walrus haha

苦 / 甜

i look at daddy on his 77th flanked by his grandkids, surrounded by his kids, sans his wife.
he seems calm and has moved on, but this must be internally bittersweet for him. his first bd without mum.


how terribly lonely it must feel to walk the rest of your days without the love of your life. 'the girl of your dreams', your 'sweetheart'

as it were i was miserable spending my bd last year w/o the ex so i can imagine how it must be hundredfold for him. >50 bds with mum. now suddenly without. at certain points of the evening i could see him looking like he was somewhere else.i wanted to hug him but i could imagine how that may trigger the grief. he was down with the bug with no one to take care of him. irony that a doctor spends his life taking care of patients, giving remedies to loved ones. i can't begin to fathom the depth of his loneliness.

i hope he will find solace in his work, golf, the rest of us. but mostly i hope he will find peace and joy when he meets her again.
i could never live on without my partner, or if my kids go before me. it's pointless. life is merely languishing in a false pretense of peace or joy and all else is moot.

the compelling need to run away today is so real it's not even funny

pot shots and bad puns.

it's been a fab weekend of family time, something baby's honed as a part of list of things to anticipate after the grind of a work week.

starting off with a sumptuous dinner on fri nite

the mantous looking like pebbles which my cam skills did no justice haha

then after the kids sorted some of their h/w matters it was downtown for some shopping and the two potter-philes going potty over the displays at the museum while aunty jil and i had a spot of tea



let's just say much to jil's amusement/exasperation i thought gandolf was a character there haha that's the extent of my knowledge of anything ring-related or in this case, pottery.

then we chucked down to 313 for a light dinner followed with a substantial dessert of waffles and ice cream at maggie moo's. jo chose a strange blue ice cream resembling detergent but she would haha


we pottered around the stationery offerings in the vicinity before ending with hair accessory pickings, which to jill was 'praise the lord i'm home' hahah. something she also exclaimed while we trawled the designer stretch of mbs only to finally land at an artbox.i think it's hilarious how they find these overpriced retail a drone and light up when they see the heartland versions. i guess i've raised a couple of really simple kids with adorably aunty demeanours. baby gave them a couple of bags which she thought would be too old for their tastes but she was wrong! hahaha

i guess what really made my day most was watching how she delights in them, her maternal instincts to protect them, her nurturing and caring ways which make me trust her so profoundly. i really feel like i've landed the perfect partner who encompasses all the love and security, and the physique of a model which she dismisses with modesty and regretful self-effacing responses. all i know and feel is i am right with her, and the kids have become so much a part of us, and of her. they are starting to grasp what we are and are completely blase about our pairing. jil offered her a hairclip from her loot. jo was enamoured by her taking pains to get them tickets for the show and a whole lot of overpriced souvenirs but i know jo because she is not taken in by gifts, but rather how much she cares about her. that sorta regard has more mileage than a thousand gifts.

and in all this i am just grateful for the blessings of the year. a new love, a renewed family and a deeper faith in life.

in our elements

hehe my big baby lying on what looks like a strawberry

you.

holding you through the night.half-waking to your gentle kisses and carresses.
 this is all which matters darling.just us in a world of confusing flux.we remain rooted in our simplicity of breathing each other in, feeling our souls connect in our touch.that single moment in breathless ecstasy.feeling loved.clinging on to it.relenting to it completely.

my words hardly do it justice. but i know so deeply and  inexplicably that in these moments we really only need to allow ourselves that simplicity, and faith. nothing else should have to matter when you can feel that sort of love, don't you think darling?

that said, i know when you wrap me like that in your endless loving arms that the world and its constant troubles fade to irrelevance. because you are there. and you make my life relevant.