so last night while lying in her arms, i marvelled at how just a year ago i questioned the existence of one's significant other. i had become so cynical after cycles of heartbreaks and disenchanted causes.
then this image like a to-do list appeared mentally, almost like the old-school notebook with 555 on the cover bookies favour haha. i saw all the names of my ex-s in chronology and now i'm looking at her and thinking, is there such a thing as trial and error and final product, like the mattresses you've tried and thrown because they turned out ill-fitting or treacherous? or perhaps it's just the good stuff you took away from each which you cognitively turned into ideal finality?
so i recalled falling for something i searched for in each -- their grounded domesticity, their child-like demeanor and feminine comfort, the security of being myself or the artless devotion matched with admirable stature. and if we could just snip off every one of these traits from each person, stitch them into a tapestry, it'd form that perfect comforter, or buckwheat mattress, which warms and cools in a single breath, taking on your form, embracing your quirks in a complete and correct fit. yes i'm sucha aunty they should make me an honorary member of spotlight hehe
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