arrivals, departures

this would sum up my year so far. it occurred to me while waiting for a plane last week how life is like an airport. we spend so much of our time waiting for that new chapter only to realise we shouldn't be waiting at all. it should be about living each moment completely and mindfully without looking forward or backward.

and this was the exact adage which made my entire trip a lot more gratifying. i really didnt have a plan besides getting on that plane. when i got there, i simply let the day take me. met this pleasant chap who gave me a good trustworthy vibe so i didn't need to really angst about whether i'd be ripped off for the rest of my trip. and even i were, it'd be just another learning experience.

turns out everything fell into place from the weather to timing. i felt completely immersed in my environment and slept like a baby. i never once missed a beat and it's like the entire time was already laid out without a clear itinerary except a few goals of seeing peaks and places of worship. which i did very thoroughly.

so when i got back i felt so much more centered about the rest of my time here. it's got to be an extended metaphor for everything else i do from here on. i get an email from the ex-spouse about taking the kids back and it's something i relish because the years i've lost had already caused so much guilt and regret. so that's what the next arrival of my plane's about. finishing up the journey of motherhood in a clearer and more confident manner, even so if the kinks of financial or emotional challenges come forth, they will like my nepal sojourn be similar in its natural unraveling. without doubt or despair.without regret or self-blame.