dawn

so this weekend i've given myself a really good respite, besides the usual errands and a gym session, i lay flat a lot more than usual, not in a lazing way but short power naps to recharge mentally everytime i felt the urge. that's really how i should treat my body. not resist the natural call to rest as i used to. it helped that i had the solitude and felt more withdrawn than usual. i don't see the need to keep up platitudes with friends when i think we've become more comfortable updating each other online. besides i needed some time-out from mindless conversations.

this week was especially awesome in the elements. the moon for one was awesomely large and i'm so glad i bought that DSLR to capture it with justice

i remember how i had just decided to take a walk on a whim and there it was, coupled with a warm breeze that made the moment perfect.
that's exactly how i'd like to spend my days, thought-free, childlike appreciation for the simple pleasures of food and nature. it never really went away since i was a kid. i recall just going off on my little bike alone to discover the marvels of nature.days just passed like that, time was never hours but quick moments of joy. i want to be like this again.education has brought me thought but also taken away my simple appreciations.

and desire has become a sort of distraction. i'm learning to eliminate that in paces. i think our ego is a really potentially destructive force. it feeds our vanity and self-serving nature. at most we could just accept the attention and then exhale it as gratitude and goodwill. if it helps another feel an apparent sense of fulfillment, then so be it.nothing should come of it other than a moment of acknowledgement.because attempting to pursue or follow-up is not only self-destructive but possible damaging to the other's ego.so none of it.
need nothing,stay neutral n numb.