timely reminders

so it's been a year since i acknowledged my inability to work on a r/s because

1. i have no will
2. i lack emo energy
3. i am innately selective about my effort
4. i "only want a gf when it suits (me)"

truth be told i have no plans ahead for anything other than to focus on making money and memories for the kids, they're all who matter and it must be the reason they moved back in this year. they're my life's mission on what's left of my time.

that said, i also want to disengage from any potentially confusing attachments because i know i'm hardly focused on anyone for the long haul. i'm also too arsed to get into anything which distracts me from my harmony, which trumps my wish-list before i go. i don't want upheavals or disruptions to what i've spent a year establishing, and certainly not the bonds with the kids.

so yes, remind myself everytime some blindly foolish seduction of my ego comes around. Like buddha i will sit firm and focused against the alter-ego and its deceptions of fulfilment when clearly the only end-goal is to completely reach a perfection of the mind body and soul.

mantra: no happiness, no suffering, no wants, no needs, no desire, no sadness, no fear, no life.