women of a certain age.

women have always fascinated me. even as a child. they smelt better. dressed with more variety. had interesting gossip. looked more presentable. more so, they seemed to have a sensibility about them. so growing up i was always drawn more to women. especially those in their latter years. i took solace in their stoic demeanour honed from their experiences. their confidence and calm in conducting themselves in varied situations. perhaps that explains why i eventually became an aunty-magnet haha

what struck me as special in these women and later in myself was that regardless of how mature we became, there always remained that inner child who needed protection, who yearned to be treated as a little girl, who needed once in awhile a me-day to pamper herself like the little princess she is meant to be.

now as a mom of teen girls i am more aware of this than ever before. with them i feel like a nurturing source of security and calm. yet ironically i want them to appreciate the scared little girl inside who sometimes wants to get away to her little cove of neverland, to regroup and find myself again.and yes to even regress into a fetal position and be cradled like an infant, and to feel secure in their advice and wisdom.

perhaps someday i'll pen these memoirs of my assorted encounters of how so many mature women have mad impact in my life. knowing me though it'd probably be done posthumously.

housekeeping

that very title of a text my lit kids are doing for their exam next week. interesting definition of what she is. not that she's a housewife no, but she certainly bears all the traits of a perfect wife/mom

exhibit A:

pupcakes for our youngest 'child's' 6th bd

exhibit B:
she rearranged their closets to free up space and dust haha

let's just say they were in states of disarray which we all could easily live with but not my clean-freak wifey. i watched her with a feeling of fascination and shame.

exhibit C:
homemade raisin loaves

and these moments of domesticity warms as much as it fills me with the kind of assurance that i'm in such a good place these days. it's all i need to center myself.

so love
---
“When she had been married a little while, she concluded that love was half a longing of a kind that possession did nothing to mitigate.”
― Marilynne Robinson, Housekeeping 

another perfect weekend

never a dull mo when the kids are over

and never without yummy tings when baby takes care of dinn plans <3333


baby says they're the most lovely kids in the world. i couldn't agree more
i mean which older sis you know would make a set of love coupons for her kid sis as a bd gift, which includes doing something humiliating for her amongst chores and a manicure haha i esp love old chang kee as a choice, how adorably earnest and within budget.


typing this i can hear the house of horrors beside me with sibling taunting and screaming every other minute. i am ever so grateful to have these wonderful teens who want nothing but to do well and take care of each other, without a single input from me =]

just for that we are soo bringing them to hokkaido or melbourne after duckie's o levels and jil's sec 2 streaming next year! or london, or korea. the possibilities are endless.

a checklist on why she's the one

1. she sweeps 6 years of accumulated dustbunnies under the kids' beds
2. she holds you through the middle of the night while you sob from unresolved issues induced by too much moscato the evening before
3. she cuts up all your papayas and dragonfruit in bitesize pieces coz you're too arsed to do it ever
4. she plants a million kisses on your pre-washed face in the morn haha
5. she never flirts and when flirted at shows zero interest
6. she sings her childhood songs in variants of tunes only because she knows it amuses you
7. she goes out on a limb to get the kids things only because she wants to buy them the things she never had as a child
8. she bakes you valrhona laced cranberry cookies 
9. repeat the above haha

is it silly that i still tear watching them like this?

 i guess it takes me back to a halcyon phase of their lives, despite post-divorce and having such major upheavals in their lives. i dare say they are the biggest inspiration in my life, their souls,their artless manner of taking things in their stride. thiswas an era where they were also filming a lot with jo's camera, something of a godsend which attests for the prolific tubes i have archived. i know these will stay online as long as there remains a youtube haha.

 gah im a sentimental fool. dont think its pms.maybe just projected stress from the students' coming exams. it's like a 2 year project culminating to its moment of reckoning. but yes i do miss the shrubs at this age. they're still amazing but i hope someday they'll look back on these vids n remember how much they were each others' sister and best friend.

heart.mind.soul

what do you know? they share the same initials =]

and a random spot of nostalgia


this is the age you first met them, baby

bunny's a teen!

how quickly i've become a mom of two teens. scary. but good coz now i can finally say im in mommy hell haha not really actually i think they're the coolest teens i've ever birthed and met. no credit to me except raising them to be decent and polite, letting them be themselves, embracing their quirks with their talents.


then : a sweet lil tween


now: all grown up but still a cherub to me <3

we had a little dinner surprise for her at baby's

 

my attempt at panda riceballs

and baby's stellar efforts at panda cupcakes.it's a lot harder than it looks, unlike my playdough efforts hahaha

i'm just warmed by how we've grown as a family. was telling her the other day, there are girlfriends and there are wives, and she's wife material for real. and hot to boot!





that said, i really love having the kids home. they light up my day / life!