the more things change, the more they stay the same

so the other night driving to a grrl party i realised it's been more than 10 years since i attended my first one. let's just say then it was a thrill of new beginnings, looking forward to meeting 'like-minded' folks. but somehow the decade has changed so much about how i feel going to these things. it's like a sense of jadedness about what the community is really about, trolls,cliches, wannabes,damaged,overcompensating characters who must feel some need to stare and judge or worse, privately resent.

this seems a lot different at gay clubs where everyone just drops their guard and party like there's no tomorrow, the music always fabulous and the peeps groomed and smelling good. you wonder why their sisters have yet to take a page from their books.i hardly see any drama or crying or drunken displays at their clubs because everyone is just unabashed about looking glam and having sex after haha

anyway, it was our first clubbing experience together and i like how comfortable we were. she was looking fine in a dropdead backless top and much in her social element. i went there solely to hang with her, and a curiosity to see if the crowd had improved 6mths ago. it didn't. the only difference is i was amused by how much more forward they are now, with smiling butches opening doors and lighting fags for you unsolicited and slightly disarmed by a little femme who was too drunk and forward with her advances, needing rescue from her at some point, well more because i didn't want to offend the kid nor create undue misunderstandings should the mrs walk over haha i know she trusts me but who needs the drama, you know.

anyway, i'm done with the scene, really. least of all when it provides such banal entertainment and i can almost memorise the dj's set it's not even funny. but more so when the crowd is getting younger as i get older and well,i'd rue the day when i bump into ex-students and have to make awkward convo. i mean much as i'm out to most of them i don't think i need to display my sexuality in such a context. i am not a party-going dyke, if you need to confirm it well, just look at how much i love my dog and when i attend little causes rallying for gender and sexual equality!

pinkdot 2012, 30th june, hong lim