turning point

these days i awake and find myself not missing the kids. there i said it.

i miss who they used to be, their artlessness. that genuine appreciation for life.

i suppose it comes with the territory of growing up.
i'm sure somewhere in the core of their souls they are very much the angel grubs i cherished more than life itself. it's a phase perhaps. but i feel estranged to who they are right now, as they grapple with their own assorted concerns and identities.

make no mistake. the maternal love remains. it's impossible to divorce your kids. so like a bout of viral flu i will sit this one through. leaving it to a divine will to bring them back to who they've always been while their externalities distract and distress.

when i spend time with my own form class consisting of 17 girls and 7 boys, i'm reminded once again what this age is like. they will rebel, they will break your heart, they will make all the mistakes you made as a kid. they will come back to themselves, and god willing, you.