i really feel the need to get away from humanity and spend more of it with nature. it is the only thing in our existence which makes sense and meaning. when i'm in the elements i truly find my peace. it's not simply escaping but truly living.
work's been awesome but i can do less with the whiny peeps. all day i'm surrounded by suffering. like come on, surely we can overcome our egos for a day or two and stop thinking how our lives are so depressing. i just wish i could bring a sledgehammer to these people and tell them to suck it the hell up. k is really grating on my nerves and i try to also avoid the likes of the self-imposed victim. if you choose to let life consume your needs then don't go trying to define yourself as a one. do something about it.
i'm done with humanity. call it selfish but that's our nature. we really don't give a toss about anyone else because we're wired for self-preservation. live with it, suckers
and for some reason my dreams of late have been predominantly primal. it seems to only involve physical connections some too lurid to describe here. or worse with colleagues haha.perhaps because i've already decided in clarity that i want nothing more to do with emotional relationships because they really are futile attempts to assure yourself that you are capable of sacrifice. truth be told no one who has enough self-respect should ever do that for someone who isn't of kin. it doesn't make sense to me at all. it's really about function, not love. it took me more than two decades to figure that out. well live and learn as they say. i still maintain that people who define themselves by their partners may harbour deeper issues of low self-esteem.
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